Ensorcelled With Regretful Optimism
by BlackCatNeko999
Summary: AU."Love is the surest road to a tragic end. That is why I have forsworn it." Hikaru finds a stop to her lack of happiness and failed destiny, but at what price? What is one moment of fulfilment if you lose everything in the end? Ryuga x Hikaru.


**A/N:** So, I don't really know what to say about this. Really. I just have the sudden urge to do this, that's all. This story is dedicated to all the wonderful people I had the honor to meet on this site. Thank you, guys, for your superb support and feedback and encouragement.

And look at that! My first serious cover for a story. Maybe I should make more for my others...Anyway, you should listen to Florence + The Machine's _Drumming Song_ while reading this. This beautiful song gave me all those strange feels. You'd get addicted to it too. :))

**Summary: **"Love is the surest road to a tragic end. That is why I have forsworn it." Hikaru finds a stop to her lack of happiness and failed destiny, but at what price? What is one moment of fulfilment if you lose everything in the end? Ryuga x Hikaru.

**Warnings: **AU (but not really a modern one), minor coarse language, some suggestive themes, violence, murder/death/suicide. I really had a hard time with the rating of this fanfiction.

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, song references, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The story and plot are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Ensorcelled With Regretful Optimism

* * *

Hikaru Hasama's life had been spared of happiness since she was very young of age.

All of her childhood was gloomy and colorless. Everything was boring. Because of her mother, Hasama Reiko, the one lovable person in her life. She was taken – _stolen_ - from her grasp by death. Life without her just wasn't the same.

Hikaru tried to live, not to mourn, not to cry – _never cry in front of anyone!_ – but she loved her mother, and children don't take those kinds of things very well because of their age. Some may be 'lucky' if they're too young to remember the faces of their dearest_. Hikaru wasn't_.

So why try to be foolish enough to _forget_ the very person that brought you into this world? No, the young woman learned the hard way that she had to keep all her emotions in check, only to show them when it was the time – _to never be weak_.

It was just like her father told her, a favorite mantra of his: _children should be seen, not heard_. So, Hikaru cried herself to sleep every night of her childhood, when nobody could see her. Later, a few years after the tragedy, the icy haired girl would just stare at the only photo she had of the woman of her nightmares – how funny, they used to be good dreams, too – for hours. Trying not to forget how she looked, how her features brightened when she took her in her loving embrace. She even slept with the clothes her mother made for her. Those were the good times, and Hikaru tried not to forget them.

They were keeping her alive – at last until _he_ came into her life.

* * *

_there's a drumming noise inside my head  
and it starts when you're around_

* * *

He was probably the only man she could have ever loved with such strength. "It was all my fault," she'd say if was ever to be asked.

(_If only she could!_)

Her father's parties had always been big and extravagant. After her mother's death, they became even more pompous. She could never truly understood why someone would want to throw such boisterous celebrations.

It seemed like it was only her and since Hikaru was _only_ his daughter, her opinion didn't weight much. It was at times like these that the girl was reminded of her mother and the words she told her often before she passed away, before she lost the fight against her sickness: _never be weak, Hikaru; don't show them your vulnerability;_ _just smile and be a good hostess_.

The man always found a reason to celebrate – every small thing was important, it seems. Only later, much later, after hundreds of nights and days lost with celebrations, Hikaru found out _why_.

Just like her photo and memories, parties were her father's _'cakes and ale'_ (the good things of life).

Her parents met at an extravagant party, both young and charming, their minds so naive. Hikaru was their one and only child so she'd share the same foolish fate: _her one and only true love was to be the end of her_.

It must have been sweet, her parent's love story, but in the end it only left a bitter taste in its wake. It was _bittersweet_, - yes, that was the word - and Hikaru was to understand the meaning of it pretty soon; sooner than she would've thought.

Personally, Hikaru never liked to be in the spotlight but when you were Hasama Haru's only daughter, you were frequently shoved onto a pedestal where others would "ooh" and "ahh" over the most minuscule details. Let's just say, that at nineteen, it got old _very_ fast.

These parties also required constant cheerfulness on an attendee's part. The famous fake smile was obligatory.

"Wear a smile or get out," was her father's motto when it came to the subject of a celebratory atmosphere.

* * *

_I swear that you could hear it  
it makes such an almighty sound_

* * *

It was a party of Mr. Hasama's where she met him for the first time.

She was nineteen, close to twenty, and her father saw that. That's why, so many of the next dozens of festivities were to find her a proper husband, to show the world that Haru Hasama had an beautiful girl ready to be took off of her feet.

There were lots of handsome lads that came and flirted with her, in hopes to win the maiden's heart, that was understandable, and Hikaru enjoyed flirting back. It spiced up her life a little. There was a drop of color over the monochrome picture, but still not enough to cover it.

So, the men kept coming, Hikaru kept refusing, and her father's anger grew at his daughter's behavior.

He asked her once why she kept turning all of them down, to make him a description of 'the man of her dreams', but all Haru Hasama got in response was, "They are just so immature." It was a mistake for her to say that because the answer she got back made her speechless.

"Fine, if young men are so in the gristle, then how about real mature man. You know what they say: a man matures only over forty years of age."

Now, the violet eyed girl had to hide the grimaces when she listened to her 'mature courtship'. She didn't dare tell her father that she couldn't – and _wouldn_'_t_ – marry a man _twice_ her age. It would've ended up messy for her.

And so, one night of tiring and useless talking with generals and guards and revolutionaries, smiling at them until her face froze that way, Hikaru went to take some air. She excused herself and detached from the grasp her dancing partner had on her, turning to open and close the opaque glass doors in her wake.

There it was, in the back garden of the mansion – since her family was important and had its money, not filthy rich, but rich enough to to maintain the house -, the violets section she loved so much. She used to spend all day long with her mother in the garden – the good times, such beautiful and peaceful times. But it ended long ago, all of it, and none was coming back.

Now she only spent time in the section of violets because it their various colors reminded her of how life could change (like their hue). The flowers she was staring at, gaze half-lidded, were members of the Violaceae, a family of chiefly perennial herbs. The color palette of the petals ranged from purple and blue to rose and yellow, and even to white.

Long had she wondered how could they be such a beautiful white. How could those gloomy, purple flowers that resembled her mother's eye color so well, have such a pure glow? Even if her father might call her stupid for it, Hikaru Hasama believed that it was a sign from God, from Fate. Her life could change for the better. Only if she'd know _how_ to do so.

As far as she knew, the white violet was the flower that symbolised the candour. In terms of love, the white violet was emblematic of an adventurous spirit. Maybe this was what she needed! She smiled to herself as her gracious fingers plucked a specimen, inhaling the peculiar perfume.

The young woman pulled at her long dress' material and hid herself in the bushes when the glass, sliding doors opened again. She was tired of the facade she had to wear in front of all those stupid people that were there only to please the famous Haru Hasama, but, dare she say it, the bluenette was curios _who else_ had the nerve to leave one of her father's festivity.

With a brief once-over, Hikaru realised that she had never seen the person before. Suddenly, all feelings of disinterest and boredom left her. There it was – the pure white.

* * *

_there's a drumming noise inside my head  
and it throws me to the ground_

* * *

It must have sounded crazy, but after staring at the young man in front of her eyes for about ten seconds, these words left her parted lips, "Wow, it's amazing."

Never had she seen a living being look so young with white hair (most of them were the elders and men that came to Mr. Hasama's parties; old and unattractive). Actually, if she thought better, some time ago, one of her far away cousins came to visit. Tsubasa Otori was his name and he, too, sported the silvery locks of hair and the pools of golden eyes (and he did look as young as possible while at it). Hikaru admired his spirit and wisdom – she really did, but something happened not long after (because a tragedy happens in _every single one's_ life) and her dear Tsubasa became corrupted by power. Since then, he looked older, more tired and ill-fated.

That was the last image the blue head had of her cousin. It was only natural that the sight of the new person was bringing all those memories back out. As she fought them back down, Hikaru returned to observing the mysterious appearance.

The snowy color matched his chiseled features so well. It had to be natural. The red streak of bangs was a match to the lad's shirt, a burning crimson that left her wordlessly staring at him. But the most important parts of her analysis were the man's eyes – deep, amber pools of melted gold. The bluenette felt herself lose in them, and couldn't hold the sigh that escaped her mouth.

When those beautiful orbs turned and narrowed her direction, Hikaru felt a hot shiver down her spine – his stare was burning her to the core.

Just as she was about to stand and confront the gorgeous stranger, a shout was heard from the balcony situated above the garden. It was Mr. Hasama, talking to someone on the phone. He spoke with a gruff tone and Hikaru knew that he was greatly angered by whoever he was talking to. She was only able to hear snippets of the conversation but the girl did hear a familiar name: Kishatu.

Now, where had she heard that name before?

Maybe when she was wedged between two overly chatty women who were bent on commenting the icy haired beauty for the rest of the night. They were loud and Hikaru had no interest on listening what they had to say, but when the taller woman stated that the Kishatus were in town, she couldn't resist and brought her attention on the conversation. After all, small talking and gossiping were not things a girl would not be interested into.

As a result, Hikaru found out that Kishatu was the name of a family of aristocracy, very rich and far-famed, that even if it had its roots from Japan was living on the other side of the ocean.

After more stories of what they did and have and knew and yada yada, Hikaru wondered what were they doing here, at hundred of miles away from home; why were they here, for what reason; was it of so great importance they had to move in back in Japan? And why is such a small city as it was, and not something bigger, like the capital city or other metropolis?

A few more comments and giggles and she had her answer. It seemed like one of the sons of the family – and a very important heir of the Kishatus – was looking forward to spending his 'leadership' in that specific region of Japan. Even if he was barely past the age of twenty-one, his parents made everything possible for him. It was said he lived in a palace somewhere.

Unbelievable! What were the chances for her to meet him in person?

But back to the issue of front, it looked like one of the Kishatus – if not the male heir – was at the party, and refused to 'fake smile' for Mr. Hasama. If she ever had the chance to, Hikaru would've liked to comment on his lack of necessary happiness.

She suppressed a laugh as she saw the charming stranger before her sneer at her father's voice. He then turned towards the violet eyed young woman, lips morphing into a thin line. Promptly, Hikaru stood, brushed off any dirt that might have accumulated on her dress and, on instinct, bowed down in show of respect. She had to do that so many times it came accidentally.

"Hikaru Hasama, host along with Haru Hasama, my father, for tonight," she breathed (not that there were other hosts anyway). Why was there such a sudden lump in her throat? How stupid of her; so much for a good first impression.

The male didn't seem affected by her flushed exterior. In fact, he seemed quite comfortable with it.

His eyes shone with mischief as he mocked a small bow back at her. His lips moved with such defiance it made Hikaru's feet feel like jelly, "I am thrilled, Milady. Your father was just speaking about me earlier. It seems like I am not his taste at all."

"Ah, so you are the Kishatu heir."

For the next few moments, the two continued to stare at one other. The Hasama girl took in, again, his unkempt, snowy-white hair and burning, gold colored gems of eyes. His lithe and fit form, shadowed in the moonlight, and, as she stood there, motionless, Hikaru knew that she had never seen anything as beautiful before in her entire life.

The moon above, the starry sky, she couldn't have imagined a better time. It all created the opportune moment for such a meeting.

The young man grinned and spoke yet again with that tone of voice that made Hikaru want to swoon, "Yes, I am the one and only Dragon Emperor." He seemed proud of the title and Hikaru swore it suited him too well to be real.

She felt confident enough to make a joke about it, though. "Oh, since we're in the Era of Dragons?" As soon as the words left hr mouth, the bluenette felt like hitting herself. _Really, Hikaru? Really?_

The comment didn't bother him at all. The man laughed with all his might, lines already forming at his closed eyes' corners. Just as she was about to ask if he was laughing of her, an unexpected blush came over her face and left her unable to say anything.

Finally, he calmed down and smirked, "That's who I am. Take it or leave it."

Hikaru smiled and liked her lips, ready to talk at last (but still missing how his pointed eyes followed her every move).

"So, what brings you out here, mighty Dragon Emperor? Were the festivities not on your liking?" There was still a trace of frolic in her words, but this time the male brushed it off and chose to answer, "Not really. I just wanted to take some fresh air."

Seeming pleased enough by his answer, Hikaru hummed in agreement. "It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" She was staring up at the bright stars and wondered if her mother could see her from up there. Could she see how her life went everyday? What she had to go through?

The Dragon Emperor's repartee made her head snap in his direction, amethyst eyes wide in wonder and shock.

"I agree, and it's even more beautiful with you here."

How charming of him, Hikaru could feel blood rush in her head, yet again flooding her cheeks with color, but the man in question continued to simper at her.

"If-if you say so."

The tall male strolled to a patch of plants to the side and grabbed a bluish violet out of all the others. This made the blue head curios. Why would The Dragon Emperor chose such a flower when there were so many others around, much more beautiful or colorful than that one. Right there, right before him, there was a row of rose violets! But then again, so was she, a simple girl – _as if_; Hikaru was anything _but_ simple – and he chose to speak with her of all the others.

Maybe those were more signs from Fate and Destiny! (_How nice he chose her in the end too_.)

But the bluenette wondered _what_ he was to do with the flower. Was he going to step on it, to quash it under his varnished shoes for having such an unimportant existence? (_But what important existence it had._) If so, why bothering plucking it? Did he enjoy making it feel like it was in good hands, that it was safe? To give it fake hope and make the poor flower feel _loved_? And with what attention the lad caressed its _oh-so-fragile_ petals.

Another shudder went down Hikaru's spine, but, this time, it was as cold as ice.

Her stomach was uneasy and her throat felt dry. The girl swallowed hard, but the feeling was still there.

The uncomfortable thought went flying out of her head when The Dragon Emperor turned her way and handed her the small flower. She blinked up at him, clearly confused by his actions. When he grinned, those amazing pearly teeth showing, and took one her hands in his did Hikaru smile back – a totally true smile. Her fingers took the violet out of his hold.

The Kishatu lad bent down and let his lips touch the back of Hikaru's hand – how grateful she was for choosing not to wear gloves tonight. It was only for a few seconds but to the Hasama girl, it felt like ages.

Seeing the pink flush Hikaru had in her cheeks, the young man stood and held her hand tighter. Amusement was easy to read in his eyes, but there was something else, more powerful, clouding his amber orbs. It was an unknown emotion to Hikaru – it made her fear what was to come -, but that didn't mean she wasn't as excited to figure it out.

"Keep it. It complements your eyes greatly."

She felt said eyes start to close, her body involuntary leaning into his. Her heart was beating so hard Hikaru swore it could have burst out of her chest. The hand that wasn't griping hers came to rest on her burning cheek, long fingers brushing back soft strands of icy hair, egging her closer. They both could feel each other's breaths as they were getting closer, so much closer.

* * *

_I swear that you should hear it  
it makes such an almighty sound_

* * *

"You! What do you think you're doing here? Identify yourself!" Haru Hasama demanded from the balcony, lips twisted in a scowl.

Hikaru pushed back from her companion and froze on spot. Did her father _not know_ who he was? If that was the case then she had to come up with a false identity, and soon.

The Kishatu boy didn't seem bothered by the older man at all. In fact, he was smirking up at him, finding the elder quite the humorously angry man. Mr. Hasama's green eyes looked crazed while his graying hair was beginning to become mussed up.

The golden eyed lad snarled, eyes fixed with haughtiness on their target, "I am The Dragon Emperor." His voice was full with confidence, smirk widening at the other man's raising fury.

"Nice party, by the way."

"Kishatu!" Haru shouted enraged. _Darn it all, why did he had to do that_, the girl thought, eyes flying between looking at the other two outside the mansion.

If her father got annoyed with just the mere mention of him and his family, she couldn't imagine how infuriated he would become when he saw the same man in person. She had to do something, quick.

Hikaru swallowed and spoke, "Father, please stop. Mr. Kishatu here was just leaving, right, sir?" The blue head turned towards the snowy haired male. She had to do it, even if she didn't like it at all. She was completely engrossed with his safety.

The addressed snorted and turned around, hand showed into his pant's pockets. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." He started for the large gates that enclosed the Hasama home.

"See you later, Hikaru Hasama."

"You, in the house now," Mr. Hasama pointed at Hikaru. "We'll talk later." He was furious. The young woman winced when his voice carried high enough for the guests to hear him. This was going to be quite the embarrassing night, wasn't it?

With that being said, her father closed shut the balcony large, double doors and everything went silent (beside the noised inside, please).

As response to the sudden silence, Hikaru balled her hands, then, she realised that something was still in her hand. The blue violet! Looking down she smiled, recalling _who_ gave her the flower.

Did he not know what he was committing to?

As Hikaru was fingering the softness of one blue petal, she went over the flower myths one more time until she got to the object of her interest: a gift of blue violets was a pledge to be always true in love.

She looked up again, hoping to catch up to The Dragon Emperor and question his actions, but he was already gone. That's when Hikaru realised it.

She never really got his name.

* * *

_I ran to a tower where the church bells chime  
I hoped that they would clear my mind_

* * *

Again, the girl was faced with her solitariness.

Her father had yelled for a good twenty-something minutes before he finally sighed, "I'm not sure what to do with you," and left.

She pulled out the only photo of her mother from on of the many books inside her room and talked about today's adventures. It had been so long since she talked out loud with her deceased mother. Maybe if she was brave enough – and somehow got out of her father's hold for some hours – Hikaru could go all the way to Reiko Hasama's grave. Mr. Hasama prohibited her to go there because it was outside town and he wanted her close and healthy.

Hikaru knew that her father wasn't heartless, that he indeed did love her and wanted only best for her, but Mrs. Hasama's sudden loss affected him too much. What if he lost her too? His sanity would be lost forever.

The bluenette understood that and always looked for ways to please her father more – to make him happy.

Hikaru understood that Mr. Hasama didn't like the Kishatus at all – maybe even hated them, but who knew why (maybe because they had so much power and will, something Hikaru's family lacked) – so she had to stay away from them in order to calm her father. Those were her thoughts when she went to bed, Reiko's photo still in her clutches.

Sometime the next day, Hikaru wanted to smack herself upside the head again. The reason: she almost did the stupidest thing in her life.

Her father was still not pleased with his 'hunt for sons-in-law' and was looking over numerous sheets of paper, full of suitors names. This made her stomach do flips. Hikaru had enough of those. It was too much. If her father looked for her happiness and power, still, then why not try to arrange a marriage between her and a 'prince' or something – like The Dragon Emperor!

That was when the girl wanted to hurt herself. How could she _think_ of something so scandalous? It would have been never true. Anyways, after better considering the situation, Hikaru come to the conclusion that the Kishatu male was just one of those famous 'bad boys', a rebel to say so.

What they had the night before, in the garden, was nice, but if it caused her father so much hurt to see his only child in the presence of the likes of him, then she'd have to stay away and forget, for real.

That was the reason why a few days later she told her father that she'd go round the country, accompanied of course, to see new places (not people, her father wouldn't have allowed that), Hikaru remembered. She even told him she might take up writing (an hobby of her mother's), if she was inspired enough. He seemed pleased enough and let her leave.

And so, unconsciously, Hikaru started her own search for happiness, which took her months around Japan. Don't get her wrong, she loved every small place she got to, but the nasty epiphany was making its presence known every time she closed her eyes: Hikaru was not happy at all. Now she come to even miss those boisterous celebrations of Haru Hasama's.

Although her father's admonishing voice telling her that she really ought to settle down and marry at some point soon kept rising up in the back of her mind, traveling around the world in the never ending hunt for peace was tiring and boring, and she wanted to do something other than constantly search. She wanted to _find_, but the problem was, she didn't know what she was actually looking for.

She thought that the distance and distraction would help her forget. No, she soon realised things were not quite like that for her.

Distance only made the heart grow fonder.

* * *

_they left a ringing in my ear  
but that drum's still beating loud and clear_

* * *

Feeling like all the journey was a mistake, Hikaru began to consider going back home.

She was ready to do it (why lose time when she had nothing of great importance to do), but something in the back of her mind told her to wait a little longer. Should she listen to the voice inside her head? Could it be real or was it just a hunch?

The twenty-year-old didn't know for sure either, but she was aware of one thing: her destiny was lacking, and she seeked out something for herself from it. Didn't she deserve anything for what she had to go through? Could Life be so unfair?

Just simple questions that were to remain unanswered forever.

At the moment of her pending enigmas, ringing in her ears louder than they should have, the blue head was inside a small temple near a river bed. Her intentions were to pray for a better future, but in the end her anguish took over.

The young woman was alone, maids and guards left back at their accommodation place. Hikaru's father had sent, practically, a third of the personal back home. It was tiring with so many people wanting to be at your service _every single moment of the day_.

It was even more annoying going anywhere without all of them.

Usually, when Hikaru went for a walk, she'd take only two or three guards, just in case. But today she wanted to be alone, and she had made that clear earlier that day.

_"Rest. Today I shall go to the small temple I saw when we got here."_

_"But, Milady, we have orders to stay with you all the time. What if something happened to your well being?"_

_"Then I order you to stay here and let me live my own life! Understood?"_

Had she been too harsh? She didn't care one bit. Hikaru wanted just to have some space, and it wasn't like someone was to jump out of nowhere and capture her. Right?

One last look spared to the temple and off she was. She had spent more time in there then she would've liked.

The sun was high in the sky and the violet eyed female wanted nothing more than letting herself flooded with its blinding light. The scenery was so serene, Hikaru contemplated whatever should she be rushing back or walking around a little longer. She went with the last.

What was hours later, the bluenette was pacing thru the city's walkways. It seemed like something interesting was happening today – as proved by the residents and visitors that were forming crowds at every turn, being excited by something unknown to Hikaru – and she was curios to see exactly _what_ or _who_.

All she could make out of the crowd she was trying to pass through was a couple of "he's here" and "the emperor" (alarms were turned on by the words), but what was to confuse her – both days and nights after the incident – were the stridently loud female voices that screeched "Ryuga" with all their might.

Ryuga? Who was this Ryuga she had never heard of? (_If she thought better, she would've known._)

_Ryuga, Ryuga, Ryuga,_ the blue head tried to find some sense to it. It was just like a mantra. It calmed her – brought her at peace. Was it magic? Was it a word from the basis of an act of hypnosis. No, it was a name – name of a man, it seemed.

Now Hikaru was even more curios about this person's identity.

There was only one way to find out about it. She pushed thru the crowd and avoided being hit by accident untill she made it in the front, only to be greeted by more screaming persons.

Hikaru felt someone step on her dress' petticoat. There were too many faces, too much color and light – too much noise!

She wrenched forward and rushed to cross to the other side of the street – however much the bluenette wanted it, she couldn't take on the disturbances any more. Everything was going fine until Hikaru found herself in mid fall. Something went straight through her and made the girl lose her balance.

She thought she was done for it and closed her bright eyes, knowing she'd meet the feeling of pain really soon.

She waited, and waited, only for nothing to come.

When Hikaru opened her eyes she found herself staring into pools of melted, liquid gold. She blinked. A face and crunched body followed the eyes. Then she made out what happened. Her saviour catched her and now she was resting on her knees – as was the one next to her, strong arms wrapped around her shoulders.

When a bright, lop-sided grin formed on the male's lips, Hikaru could not help but breathe, "Ryuga."

How she knew it was _his name_, well, that she _didn't_ know, but as the whisper left her mouth, she realised it fitted him so well. It tasted good and rolled like honey off of her tongue.

She could've stared all day long into his eyes and never get bored, but they were in the middle of the town, word could go fast to her father and then… Hikaru didn't feel like continuing that clause at all.

The man raised and yanked her up by her arms – the girl tried not to blush at how strong his fingers were feeling against her bare arms – but at the same time, he seemed cautious, like he didn't want to leave a mark on her skin. Ryuga's fingertips danced down said arms, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Hikaru could say it now for sure: Ryuga Kishatu was hot – not meaning that kind of hot, even if he aced that category. His skin felt like it was on fire. Then the young woman would remember that night in the garden and wonder if kissing him would've felt infernal too.

She shook her head and stepped back from the handsome heir. What was she thinking? How foolish of her.

"Go." It was only one word, but it was enough to make Hikaru look up to him. He was still grinning.

"You wanted to get to the other side, right, Miss Hikaru Hasama?" He gestured to the back of him while chuckling. How much she had missed his voice, Hikaru realised, and he even remembered her name. _Sweet,_ the blue head thought.

A couple of red-and-yellow dressed guards came their way.

It was obvious that The Dragon Emperor had much more to do at the moment – things more important than her – so Hikaru parted from Ryuga and turned to leave. Her day went better than she'd first thought. Good thing the guards weren't present.

Later that night, when the blue head was preparing to sleep, she was still thinking about the day's events. She was about to take off her long dress, night clothes waiting to be taken from her bed.

While half undressed – chocolate skin bare for only the eyes of the walls to see – the amethyst eyed young woman found a small card stuck inside the threads of her corset.

The card had a small message on it – it was only a sentence, really – an address and a signature. Everything was was hand written and Hikaru wondered if she ever saw a more elegant handwriting.

A smile graced her painted lips as she put the object inside one pocket, right beside her mother's photo. Was it a simple coincidence that she had met him again? What were the chances?

_Come if you dare, Daddy's Girl._

Destiny had made its pick and it looked like Hikaru knew where to head the next day to.

* * *

_louder than sirens  
louder than bells_

* * *

If there was ever a moment when Hikaru could take back everything, change her decisions and do things different, she wouldn't even think of it.

Ryuga was the best mistake of her life.

"Guards, turn back your gears. We're going back home." Those were the words she spoke with such determination and authority some would say was reserved only for empresses. (_Not knowing how soon she was to become one herself._)

Never was she going to let the small chance she had at happiness escape her. Hikaru had a plan already and if she was sneaky enough it was to be a succeed.

Hours later she was home and instructing her maids and guards with different cores. From that day they were no longer 'in her service'. No, they were free to go back to their job around the house.

With a small bag ready for her, the blue head wrote her father that she was going to go at some church or temple or nowhere to live alone for some time – she added that he stopped the hunt for sons-in-low too. She swore in the paper note that she'd come back when she was ready.

It was her only chance. Hikaru put the note on his desk and made her way outside the house.

The small card from Ryuga led her to a palace. Yes, a real, grandiose palace. She spent hours looking at the beautiful exterior. It was just like any little girl's dream: to live in such an art pice. Yes, she could feel that this was where she had to go.

With a smile, Hikaru went in past the guards that only asked for her name (surprisingly, after only muttering "Hikaru", their faces brightened as she was let inside). Suddenly, the young woman found herself thrust into a world of whizzing people (maids and servants) who seemed too absorbed in their work to notice her.

It was hard for her to go out in public due to the fact that everyone who was friends with her father was told to keep a sharp eye and report back if they saw any 'funny business'. Hikaru wondered if it was alright to come here after all.

From the tornado of moving humans, a small woman – who looked to be in her late thirties – made her way towards the bluenette, cleared her throat before speaking, "You must be, Lady Hikaru Hasama, am I right?"

The violet eyed female nodded.

"Good, I am to be your committed servant from now on, Milady." The woman bowed, then took the bag out of the girl's hands. "Come on. The young master hs been waiting for your arrival for enough time, don't you think so?"

Wait, what? Just what was happening before Hikaru's eyes? Uncertain with what to answer to that, the female opted with nodding again and following the other through the grand palace.

After a few turns and doors passed, Hikaru asked, "Can you tell me where are we going right now?" She had a feeling she'd see Ryuga soon.

The small woman smiled while she was still walking and said, "To your room of course. I must present you then all the palace."

Hikaru exhaled and didn't ask anything else for the rest of their journey.

The room she was to sleep in was bigger than hers back home, but much simpler. After letting her eyes travel over every corner and wall, she was satisfied. The sight of the big bed in the middle of the room made Hikaru want to crush in it and sleep until the next day. The silk that was resting on it looked really soft too. The woman longed to touch it. That may have been the moment when she realised that silk was one of the predominantly materials used for everything that was related to the Kishatu family.

Soon after, Hikaru was led forward thru more corridors, her servant giving her the tour of the palace (and using a lot of details Hikaru was sure to forget the next day).

When they reached their last stop, the blue head asked, "I thank you for the tour, but may I ask you something?"

The older female bowed. "But you don't have to ask for permission, my lady. I am to be at your service until you are no longer pleased with me."

Hikaru still was feeling weird being addressed by that tone of submission, because not even the servants back home were so humble.

"I want to call you by your given name, not 'maid' or 'servant'. What is your name, ma'am?"

The servant seemed to blush at the given attention and turned her back to hide it. "My name is not of importance, but if my mistress wishes to know it so much I cannot refuse her."

"My name is Kaya, but please, refrain from using it in public or around the young master. It would not be professional now, would it?" The way she talked was showing how devoted she was to the place. The palace may not be there for a long time, but the family she worked for was. This made Hikaru wonder how many years had she served the Kishatus.

The blue head gave a smile to the woman. "No, it wouldn't be professional at all."

Hikaru had a feeling that she and Kaya would get along just fine.

"So, to conclude the tour, this is the room of the young master." Kaya gestured to the two grand, golden doors to their right. Hikaru gasped as she admired the dragon designs on it. Everything inside the palace was so precious and valuable.

"And here, to the side," the small woman pointed at the other door, on their left side. "Is the office of The Dragon Emperor." At Hikaru's quetioning glance, Kaya continued, "What? Young master Ryuga has a lot of paperwork to do too. After all, he is an heir of the family."

The blue head nodded. It looked like Ryuga had a lot of responsibilities from all the power he had.

_If only father could see that,_ she thought, feeling her mood change by it.

The older female cleared her throat again. "It seems it's past dinning time. I am sure I can prepare something for you, Lady Hikaru. I just need some time."

"No, no. I had something before coming here." Hikaru shook her head and lied about the food. She was not hungry anyway, just anxious to see the man whose face won't leave her restless dreams.

"If you could just show me the way to my room one more time…" the young woman trailed off to show that she was in need of some help from the woman.

Kaya giggled and smiled at Hikaru. "Don't worry, Lady Hikaru. I am here to serve you day and night. I will wait here until you've finished your talk with the young master." She gestured yet again to the door on the left side – the office.

Her blue eyes were soft and big, but then they narrowed into a mischievous stare, blue twinkling with curiosity.

"Unless, you two have other plans for the night…" she suggested while winking towards the bedroom's two doors.

Hikaru's eyes widened as her face flushed a deep red. She started to stutter about the suggested thought and how that wasn't going to happen and that they were 'just friends'.

At the last part Kaya laughed again, "Yes, that's why master Ryuga wanted your room to be in the other wing of the palace." Her eyes were teasing her yet again, the elvish look still in place.

That was one thing Hikaru didn't understand from the start. How come her room was so _far away_ from his? It was obvious that between them there was no _feeling of friendship_. From the current arrangements, it meant that whenever she felt like seeing him or talking to him she'd have to cross half of the palace. Plus, the look Kaya gave her wasn't helping at all.

_No, something isn't right. There must be something more to it,_ Hikaru thought again.

"Uh, just wait here, please, while I talk to him," the bluenette mumbled as she made her way to the office's door. The female servant nodded. After a few moments of thought, Hikaru knocked on the door. Not long after that a muffed "get in" was heard back.

The violet eyed girl smiled to herself as she pushed the door open, letting it fall back closed when she was inside.

The man her heart ached so much for was right across the room, siting at a desk full with documents, and frowning at one paper currently in his grip. The man looked up from his work and his displeasure evaporated as soon as their eyes met.

Hikaru's heart went in her throat when the white haired lad showed his teeth at her.

"You came." He was pushing a pile of document off the chair in front of the desk. "Not that I had any doubts, but," Ryuga bit on his tongue as he stared at her figure.

"You really came."

His voice once filled by haughtiness and disdain, now had a much softer feeling to it. The mellow tone proved that he had missed her presence as much as she had his.

* * *

_sweeter than heaven  
and hotter than hell_

* * *

A full smile rose on her face as Hikaru started to reach his side. Ryuga gestured at the chair across him, but the bluenette had enough of doing what others told her to. She tried not to smirk as she reached him. Kaya's remarks and insinuations rang full force in her head, but she fought them back.

_I am not doing anything wrong, am I?_

No, of course she wasn't. Yet.

The blue head went past the empty chair straight to The Dragon Emperor's. The male was giving her an expecting look, ready to hear why she was disobedient, but soon that look was replaced with one of shook as a sudden weight plopped onto his lap.

Hikaru was pleased by the reaction she got so far. She was pleased by the act itself.

She dug her fingers through his snowy locks, long nails passing over the scalp, as the female twined her arms around his neck. The Hasama girl leaned in closer and twisted her body so she was facing him.

"Do you think you can control me? That I came here because _the mighty Ryuga_ said so?" Her breath was over his skin, making Ryuga shudder.

Hikaru muffed her chuckle in his hair. "It was _my_ decision to come here. Do you even know in what kind of trouble I would be if my father was to find out?" The young woman sighed as she pressed the male's face further into the smooth skin of her neck. She wasn't some little flower he could fool around with then throw away. She was Hikaru Hasama, and was determined to show Ryuga that if he wanted _this_ it would be _her_ way.

The bluenette remembered the card in her dress. _Who was he calling 'Daddy's Girl'?_ The thought infuriated her.

"I am ready to take this next step with you, but," she was pushing away to look the male in the eye. "Don't you ever dare call me 'Daddy's Girl' again." Her eyes were narrowed.

_So that's how it is,_ Ryuga thought with a smirk. This was her warning that he better be serious with her.

_Well then, two can play that game._ It was Ryuga's turn to chuckle, but he didn't bother to stifle it.

"Fine, then how about," the lad took advantage of the female's close proximity and muttered against the junction of her collar bones, kissing the skin there – it was now Hikaru that got goosebumps all over her skin, shivers of hot pleasure striking down her spine at a dizzying speed. "I call you from now on," More kisses and shivers. "_The Dragon Emperor's Girl_." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

Hikaru almost growled, but as the male whose lap she was sitting on nibbled at her throat, the young woman hissed.

"Much better."

Both their heated breaths mingled together, eyes fixed on each other. Their parted lips were getting closer, and this time – not like that night long ago in the garden, the section of violets – nothing was to stop them from meeting.

And finally, it happened.

For months she had been imagining this moment: where would it happen, what would it feel like, how he might taste like - and it was nothing like she thought it would be.

It was so much better.

His lips were soft as they moved in time with hers. A hand progressed to the back of her head, holding the bluenette in place for when he tilted his head and deepened the kiss. The amethyst eyed female gasped the breath she'd been holding in through her nose and sighed just a little when his tongue traced her lips.

They were moving with synchronicity, none leading the other, both fighting with equal love. It was like an unspoken battle, where words were forbidden and the only ways of utterance were touches and feels.

_"You want me?"_

The fire in them was burning brighter and brighter, faster and faster – _"Yes, the more I do." _– _deeper and deeper _than ever.

_"Then take me."_

And they did.

She gladly opened for him and he delved into her mouth, plundering in a way that made her head spin – stroking his tongue against hers, making her dizzy with his taste. He tasted like peppermint and cinnamon, and something tangy that she just couldn't place. Then she felt it, when the male deepened the kiss even more. There was a hint of smoke in his breath – very little but enough for making Hikaru feel like he was the burning fire that was egging her on itself, and not just the cause of it.

It was great. The tastes melded together into something fantastic – _more than fantastic!_ –, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

He flicked the roof of her mouth, and she moaned and pressed herself closer to him, her fingers curling around and into his hair.

Their act of cherishing and appreciation ended a few moments – or were they minutes – later with a few more pecks. They stared at each other, both flushed from their moment.

Could it be the start of something really beautiful for both of them or was it just a foolish act on Hikaru's behalf of halting the thirst for fulfilment?

There was only one way to find out: to let themselves both flow with the current and see where they get to. And Hikaru was looking forward to doing just that.

* * *

_as I move my feet towards your body  
I can hear this beat_

* * *

It was purely accidental. She did not intend to sneak into his room.

After she left Ryuga's office the other night, Hikaru had followed a somehow cheerful Kaya back to her room for the night. When they got there, the bluenette saw that she forgot to ask him about the sleeping chamber she was put in. _Great_, she had thought, _now I have to find out on my own what is so special about it_.

And after being reminded yet again by Kaya about the hour of the breakfast (not that she couldn't eat alone, but it was the hour The Dragon Emperor was served at), where she'd be in case Hikaru needed her, etc., the blue head had found out another interesting thing about the place: however good and comfortable the silk bedding was looking, at night the same expensive material was ice cold.

She had tried sleeping anyway, but soon Hikaru couldn't fall asleep anymore. Turning from side to side, from on her front to her backside, the violet eyed female had found sleep an hour later (not that it wasn't _too late_ already).

In the end, after freezing in the sheets, Hikaru had woke up stupidly early and so swelteringly hot that she was reasonably certain she was melting, and had found herself with absolutely nothing to do at the hour. Of course, she could've gone back to bed, but, after a few moments in which the young woman knew she wasn't going to catch sleep back again, Hikaru had decided to do something good with her time.

She wasn't some of those rich girls that even had to be washed and dressed by others, so she had chose some long, sleeveless, milky white dress she had wanted to wear for so long, assorted it with a pair of cream heals and a powder blue, short sleeved cardigan. After brushing her icy hair and making sure that everything was in place, Hikaru had decided to relieve her 'servant' of showing her the way through the palace _again_.

That in mind, the bluenette had left for the kitchen, which she found after asking a few guards and rushed maids for direction. It seemed like there was someone awake all the time. She had shrugged her shoulders and went on inside the wanted room.

It was nothing special, not really something she hadn't seen before, but at the sight of some foreign fruits and vegetables on the counters – obviously for the day's meal – Hikaru could've felt her empty stomach ache for some. No one was to observe one or two missing, right? But then, she had really wanted to take breakfast with her newfound partner of intimacy. Sighing, Hikaru had helped herself with one exotic-looking fruit and a small legume.

After exploring the kitchen further more, the female had found herself something to drink too – water and dried herbs with some lemon juice was just what she needed to keep her awake.

Then she had run back to searching the palace. She had even thought about giving a nice wake up call to The Dragon Emperor, but considering the hour, she let the crazy idea pass for the moment.

In the end, Hikaru had found herself exploring the gardens outside, admiring all the flowers and plants inside. She had even found out that the Kishatus were growing themselves their _own_ fruits and vegetables. It was great to know that only trustworthy people had touched these.

Hours later the servant had been making excuses on Ryuga's behalf about _how young master cannot be there_ or _how our great lord has some important meeting to attend to _or even, this part annoyed her the most, _how The Dragon Emperor won't be free all day (his meals are to be sent to his office too)_.

_What a great first day_, Hikaru had thought after a boring breakfast.

Kaya had managed to brighten the atmosphere a little more with her warm presence, but after some time, Hikaru had realised that she just wanted to be alone and think a little. The small Kaya, being the good and submitted woman she was, hadn't minded at all and went to help the other servants with diverse.

In the middle of the day, all she had to do was deal with the situation. She hadn't liked that very much. With a frustrated sigh – she had been so annoyed it was hard resisting not to give into the white heat that had been encompassing her and make a huff – Hikaru had went robot-like through the palace, _again_.

A few turns later she had decided to visit the small office right across Ryuga's room. If he wasn't able to come out, then maybe she should just come in!

As expected, the red-and-yellow clothed guards had halted her moves. The icy haired young woman had had enough by the time and screamed all her fury at them only for the tall and massive guards not to let her pass yet again.

Her father and his parties were long forgotten, but not the way Hikaru would've wished to. The blue head thought that the wave of love and passion would take her problems out of her mind, not the roll of white fury that she was stuck into.

Departing from the 'nasty gorilaz' (as she had dubbed them), Hikaru had remembered that the palace had a athenaeum in the third wing. _Why not, at last it's going to be quiet_, she had thought. The place was big and she had found something to read really easy. The book she has chosen was quick to engulf Hikaru into the tale and make her skip lunch. Even more hours later, when she had finally finished it, the bluenette had decided to at last catch dinner.

On her way outside the library she had overheard two maids talking to each other. It was really easy to do so since the two women were just around the corner, stopped in their tracks.

The one that seemed younger had stated, "You heard what that woman had done today? She almost fought young master's personal guards to get into his meeting."

Hikaru had felt bad then for making such a fuss about the situation. Of course it was private, and she had no right to go inside.

Then, the older woman had replied, "Uh, she should act more like a lady. That's not the way someone like her should act like. It's scandalous." She was one of those 'refined' old ladies.

"Oh, but what is to expect of her?" The other had laughed as she shoved strands of black hair over her small shoulder. "After all, she is just another one of Master Ryuga's pets."

This peculiar comment had made Hikaru's blood rush through her veins faster than ever. _How dare they say that?_ _If only Ryuga knew…_ He would what? Kill them for gossiping and bad talking her? It was a lost fight, Hikaru had noted.

And so, the violet eyed female had found herself with a headache and depressed. She had stalked back to her room and skipped dinner. At breakfast she hadn't had that much to eat (since Ryuga's absence made all her hunger vanish) and the other missed meals had been starting to make their presence known by making her stomach sting, but the bluenette hadn't even cared one bit.

Hikaru had took a bath then – she had one wide bathroom attached to her room – and dressed for bed.

The whole day had been horrible in her agenda and if the rest were to be the same, however much Hikaru would've loved to be with her heart's chosen one, they'd have to find another way to spent their eternity.

After she had debated whatever should she sleep or stay awake a little longer while she was pacing to the wardrobe to chose her clothes for the next day. As to match the day's events, her luck had been yet again lacking. To her misfortune, Hikaru had tripped and run headlong into the wall right beside the wardrobe, and when she heard a loud, scraping noise, she realized that there was more to the room than she'd initially thought.

It had taken her several minutes of strenuous pushing to realize that she could not move the heavy wardrobe, although she had managed to nudge it just enough to feel the slight breeze from the now-open passage. She had wondered if she should have called one of those big guards to help her, but she didn't need anymore attention on the day (and she wasn't too keen on being accused of destroying the wall).

In the end, back against the wall and bare feet on the polished surface of the wardrobe, Hikaru had managed to make the opening wider. All thoughts of sleeping were long gone.

Moving the changing screen beside the wardrobe (in hopes of masking the passage), the female went inside satisfy her curiosity.

So, that was how she had seen that the passage led directly to one room, no turns or branches, just a straight shot to it. She had opened the other end of the tunnel and had found herself in a bedroom twice bigger than hers, the person sitting on the bed in the middle of it making Hikaru realise _whose_ chamber was it.

_Ryuga's._

He was there, smirking at her and melted gold orbs flaring in a way that sent her toes curling and her body heating. He was really there – as if he had been waiting for her all this time.

Forgetting the way she was dressed, Hikaru started for him, feeling something unknown pull her in towards the male.

"Took you long enough." Those were the only words that left his mouth before it was pressed to hers in a breathtaking union of lips.

It looked like she knew in whose silky sheets she'd be 'freezing' for the night.

* * *

_and it gets louder and louder  
it fills my head up and gets louder and louder_

* * *

Many days passed – even weeks – and Hikaru found herself falling for The Dragon Emperor more and more.

"You know that our love is like Romeo and Juliet's?" she asked one afternoon. They were curled up in his bed, the window adjacent open though the curtains were drawn closed.

"Hn." She had learned quickly that this was his common answer to things when he wasn't fully awake or (sometimes) interested.

"It's so perfect and beautiful." Hikaru's voice was dreamy and full of adoration. "I love everything about their story, beside the end." Her eyes darkened.

The white haired male sighed and fingered her soft, blue locks, "They both die in the end. What's to like about that?"

"Our ending won't be like that," the young woman stated, smile still in place.

"We'll stay together, right?" Hikaru shyly murmured. Talking about love and things relating to love often made her heart hammer at an unhuman rate.

Ryuga sat up and turned to look at her, eyes steely with determination. Without warning, he swooped down and captured her lips with his. His kisses always had a way of making Hikaru feel like she was the only girl in the world.

Slowly, he lowered himself over her, both of his hands beside the bluenette's head. Her face felt like it was on fire as she placed her palms on either side of his face to caress his cheekbones. Though the kiss was as innocent as it could've been, there were sensual undertones in the way his lips moved against Hikaru's, their bodies touching deliciously. Soon her head was spinning, the heat from outside not helping the situation at all.

When Ryuga pulled away, their ragged breaths mingled and she could see she wasn't the only one affected by the touch. As Hikaru traced his features she heard him say, "Does that answer your question, silly girl?" He was smiling.

All this time they continued to use the secret passage and never showed affection in public however much they would've liked to. It was their secret and noone was to know of it. It was good that now the servants only considered Hikaru their master's friend in a long visit. But it could – and _would_ – all become only trouble in the future when they'd want to wed each other and start a family together.

If they were careful they could pull it off.

* * *

_I run to the river and dive straight in  
I pray that the water will drown out the din_

* * *

She never thought she'd ever go to another boisterous festivity.

Hikaru found herself one night, accompanying Ryuga to a small celebration outside the town. At first she had opposed, but her partner convinced her. They didn't have to _come together_ at it. They could meet there coincidentally. Anyway, there was to be too many people there to observe the two of them, that she thought. They would make it through.

What surprised Hikaru was the fact that it was an outdoor party. Several large tables had been set up, all heaped with enough food to feed even the most starved human on Earth for a whole year. What was more surprising was the fact that there ever people of all classes, in show that there shouldn't be a line crossed between the ordinary and the powerful or the affluent. Hikaru had smiled at the thought of that. This was so not the kind of party her father would've organised.

The place was already teeming with people in all states of formal dress - here was a noble in silken robes, there was a star-struck young woman in a simple blue dress. It was the world she had been born into, and so it will always remain.

They got there hand in hand.

She started to pull her arm away from his, but Ryuga held on and pulled her along with him, one of those tiny little actions that made her heart pound and that warm pulse throb in her belly.

_Oh_, it was _so_ wrong – all these people would see her arm-in-arm with The Dragon Emperor and word would get out that she seemed to _be with_ him and the gossips would all ask about it and her father would find out and she would have so much to explain – but she couldn't find it in herself to care.

Hikaru smiled at Ryuga and took her seat beside him.

After eating the dinner disintegrated into a real party, instruments striking up a jaunty tune, and a pack of servants moving the tables out of the way to create a hasty, make-shift dance floor.

Ryuga was staring at some dancers – both good and bad – as they laughed and had a great time, so she abruptly stood up and reached out to him.

He raised one white eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Dance with me."

A chuckle shook him. "Why?"

Her amethyst eyes narrowed into a glare at his lack of cooperation. Finally, Hikaru murmured, "Because when we met we didn't got the chance to. Think of it as some debt."

He sighed - like this was _such_ a burden - but stood up and took her hand anyway. He was wearing black gloves that went with his outfit, but she could feel the warmth of his skin even through them, and it occurred to her that she never seemed to make anything but really stupid decisions whenever she was around Ryuga in public, this dancing idea being one of them.

But thinking too much hadn't helped Hikaru yet, and she was tired of all the confusion and second-guessing and wondering about what she was doing or why she was doing it, so she decided that - for now, at least - she wasn't going to question herself. She would do what felt right, which hadn't failed her yet.

Out on the dance floor, he pulled her close, one hand on her waist and the other holding her hand, and it felt _so good_. Her mouth was dry, her face was flushed like she'd been drinking and her blood was warm in her veins. She couldn't think straight because he was right there and smiling, and it felt _so right_. It felt like the place she should have been all along, dancing with him, her hand in his, her body moving in time with his, her back flush against him and then gone again as she spun away – but always holding on with that one hand in his grip, like he would never let go.

The music didn't seem to matter so much as the movement, the dance, the intoxicating, heady atmosphere between them, the smell of the male's soap and the female's own perfume, the food and the others around them, the sweet taste of tea on her tongue, the throbbing pulse in her stomach and mind.

After the song ended, Ryuga pulled away from her and muttered, "There, you got your fun."

He then bowed as another man stepped in to take his place. Hikaru watched him go, feeling lost, disappointed, and cold.

"My Lady?" the man asked, and she turned to him sharply as he bowed. "May I have this dance?"

She didn't want to say yes, but if she turned him down, it would look even more like she was with the one and only Ryuga Kishatu, so it was better that she did.

"Of course," the young woman replied and forced herself to smile. It was recurring to the fake smile. She knew it, every party recurred so – this one being no different.

So Hikaru continued to dance for the rest of the time.

Ryuga left the dance almost an hour after she angrily did – she knew because she went straight to his room, and waited for him to arrive, arms crossed. She didn't move for the entire hour it took for him to finally get in, in spite of the fact that she was tired and would have liked little more than to collapse on his bed and sleep for the next century or so.

When Ryuga opened the door and saw her standing there, he hesitated for a moment before walking in and closing the door behind him, leaning against it and watching her carefully.

"You're mad at me," he said unnecessarily.

"No, really?" the blue head challenged, raising an eyebrow. "What tipped you off? The narrowed eyes, the crossed arms, or the outright glare?"

"Actually, it was the fact that you didn't bother to change before coming here," he replied nonchalantly, still leaning against the door. "What I am not so sure of, though, is why."

Her glare softened into a stare. Yes, why had she been so angry for? She dragged him out to the dance floor, but he only danced with her once - _once!_ - before blowing her off to dance with scads of adoring fan girls. She was his and he was hers, and – dare she say it – she got really _jealous_ of it. It was downright infuriating and he was an fool if he couldn't tell why. Worse, if that was the case, he would remain oblivious because she wasn't about to explain that to him.

In lack of what to say back, Hikaru stated, a little lamely, "You didn't even thank me for the dance."

"You're supposed to be a gentleman, aren't you?"

He stared at her for a long moment. "You're mad because I didn't say 'thank you'?"

"Also," Hikaru cried as she stood from the bed, "You seem to think I am to take for granted. Well, I am not!"

The fuel was burning and so were her nerves.

"I don't even have to stay here. I just do because-," Hikaru stopped, not sure if she should continue or not.

"Why? Why did you stay here?" The golden eyed man inquired after he pushed from the door.

The young woman fell back on the grand bed, violet eyes closing in the process.

"Because I love you."

Ryuga started for the bed, footsteps quick on the ground. Her eyes opened to observe him.

Time seemed to slow down. His eyes moved back and forth over her face carefully, searching for something, and she felt his hand - still gloved - come up and cup her face. The harsh texture of the fabric was a bit startling, and she opened her mouth to breathe, or maybe say something, but all that came out was silence. Then he kissed her and all tension broke.

At some point, Ryuga pulled those stupid gloves off, which was both really good and really bad because now Hikaru could feel his hands and they were warm and calloused and strong - one wound its way into her hair, messing up the elaborate style Kaya had spent way too long on, and the other was on the small of her back, holding her close. The bluenette was reminded powerfully of the dance and the heady atmosphere, the way the rest of the world just fell away, the thick pulse in her abdomen, the warmth, the desire, the movement.

She exhaled heavily, arching her back and tilting her head to the side as he moved to her neck. She could feel his breath right underneath her earlobe, warm, close and so intoxicating. Hikaru ran a hand through his hair, fingernails scraping lightly against his skin, and he groaned into her neck.

Abruptly, he stopped, pulling away just a fraction of an inch, breathing hard. "They were talking about us, you know."

"Is that why you ran off after that dance?"

He pulled back and looked at her, searching her face like he had before, and she wondered what he hoped to find.

"I don't know," he replied hoarsely. "I was just trying to keep you safe." His hands clutched at her waist and in her hair like he didn't want to ever let go.

Hikaru bit her lip and met his eyes.

It was amazing. It was fantastic. It was all that mattered.

* * *

_but as the water filled my mouth  
it couldn't wash the echoes out_

* * *

It was to be their big mistake, the day after.

He woke her up too early, in her opinion, and she burrowed deeper into the warm, comfortable bed, muttered something about '_five more minutes_'. Hikaru nearly shrieked when her pillow vanished from under her head. In the semi-light from outside, she glared at him, jerking the covers up to her shoulder and propping herself up on her elbows.

He was sitting up, holding her pillow high in the air above his head, and something like amusement glinted in his eyes. "Well hello there, Beautiful. Time for you to go before the maids come inside."

"You're the worst," she growled, and he smirked. "Give me back my pillow."

"_Your_ pillow?" Ryuga asked, the smirk turning into a full-blown grin.

"Yes, _my_ pillow," the blue head replied sharply, holding the blanket over her chest with one hand and reaching for the pillow with the other. Unfortunately, she wasn't anything like close enough to reach it. "I slept on it so it's mine. Give it back!"

"Make me," he challenged.

She glared at him, then moved, faster than he could have possibly expected, ramming into his shoulders and forcing him onto his back, so she could straddle him and snatch the pillow from his hands. Unfortunately, by this point, she didn't really want to sleep anymore.

"You're horrible."

Hikaru swung her legs around and hopped off his bed, casting around for clothes of some kind. Behind her, she could hear Ryuga laughing, and she tried not to blush. After all, she was completely naked.

She, strangely, found her underwear under the bed and by the time she had it back on, Ryuga, sporting a loose pair of pants, was handing her the dress she had on the other night, folded.

"You piss me off sometimes, but I am wiling to put up with it."

Hikaru resisted the temptation of commenting on his lack of romance after such an amazing night, and gave him a quick kiss of departure. "I love you too."

The female danced away and left him standing at the bed, staring at her as she slipped into the passage and closed it behind her.

For a long moment, Hikaru just stood on the other side of his wall, breathing deep and trying to reign in her crazy heartbeat, and ran a hand through her hair as she tried to untangle it.

Finally, she made her way to the other end of the passage and opened it, and then her stomach fell right out of her body. Standing at the door, which was open for any passerby to see, was a servant. It was not trustworthy Kaya, but someone new whose face she hadn't seen before.

"Oh," he said, eyes wide. She stood stock-still, completely unable to form a response.

"Lady Hikaru," he coughed and she tried to evaluate the situation: he may not know for certain, but it wasn't hard to guess where she'd been to – here she was, coming in at dawn from a secret passage (that everyone could've known of if they paid attention to the palace's blueprint), dressed only in her underwear, hair a mess.

"Um," she replied dumbly. Before she could say anything or maybe stop the entire palace from finding out, the servant ducked into a low bow and bolted from the room.

_Great, this is so great_, Hikaru thought as she run a hand through her hair again.

* * *

_I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole  
'till there's nothing left inside my soul_

* * *

It was all out and soon her father was about to know too.

"Now what?" she groaned, face buried in her hands. And to think that they had hid it so well, how they tried their hardest to defy the odds, how wary they were of everything, only for this to happen.

"Nothing," Ryuga answered from his place across the office of his room.

Hikaru raised her head and glared at him. "Nothing? Nothing! Do you even realise _what_ happened?" She was angry already. How were they to explain everything to her father?

"The new servant didn't keep his mouth shut. Big deal." _How could he?_

"Yes, big deal indeed!" The woman hit his desk in order to cool off.

"I don't know," he replied, slightly desperate. "You're welcome to stay."

"Is that a good idea?" she asked, looking up to him. He didn't move.

"They've been talking behind our back even before this. What is different now?" He had a good point, but Hikaru was better. "But back then they didn't have _proof_."

Ryuga rolled his eyes. "Woman, you are so annoying. You've been of help here and people seem to like you more now (gossip is not making any notice in this), plus I…" he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck and finally looking to her, meeting her violet eyes from across the room with his golden stare.

"I don't want you to go," he admitted, half-smile on his face.

Could this be good? Was she just being stuck in a bad situation and continued making a string of bad decisions? It didn't matter because for her it was enough for the moment.

"I don't want to go either." She whispered. Ryuga nodded.

They had to do something about the situation, and it wasn't something they'd like to much.

* * *

_as empty as that beating drum  
but the sound has just begun_

* * *

The next day both lovers were trailing on the road towards the Hasama residence.

They were ready to tell everything to her father and, finally, be together. They had it planned down to the minute. It was hard to do, confront the one they were hiding from, but in the end they did it.

Through the whole talk, Ryuga could sense Hikaru's nervousness, so he talked about how it was going to better their lives, how they could finally wed each other, and she was grateful for that.

Still, the woman was afraid to stand up to her father, but Ryuga said he'd even fight Haru Hasama if that meant he'd be able to publically declare his love for her - Hikaru blushed whenever he said things like that, so out of his character.

She should've said something. She should've seen it coming.

It was around seven o'clock when they arrived, the cold evening air greeting their presences. Few rooms were illuminated at the time, and Hikaru saw that one of them was the dinning room.

_Good,_ she thought. _Now we can be alone_.

The maids were surprised to see her and didn't stop their stammering for a second while they led them through the many turns and corridors.

The dinning room was big, that Ryuga realised when they got inside. The remaining maids rushed to gather all the dishes. In the end, the door closed, look falling back in place – Hikaru made sure of that. She was not leaving the room until he let them be together! (_Another true statement on her part – their part._)

Hikaru took a seat on one of the many chairs inside the room, crossing her legs one over the other. The silky material of her dress' skirts was cool against her heated skin. So nervous she was. Ryuga, feeling safer standing, chose to rest his frame on his loved one's backrest, forearms folded over one another.

Haru Hasama wiped his mouth with a tissue one last time before leaning forward in his place. His eyes were emotionless.

"I know about you," he declared after a few moments of silence. The two 'guests' couldn't hide the surprise from their expressions.

"More specifically, I know about you, Kishatu," Mr. Hasama spat, sarcasm clearly evident in his voice.

"Father, please," the woman said to deaf ears. This was not how it was supposed to happen.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," Ryuga tried to reason with him. When Hikaru's father became angry, he often became deranged. "I'm sure you do."

"You're going to take my 'Karu away from me, for good. You'd go and do that even if you don't love her, just because _you can_. I know you are so don't try to lie!" Mr. Hasama screamed, green eyes narrowed into a glare.

At this, Hikaru rose from her seat and placed both her hands up in a move of surrender. "No, that isn't true. We love each other, don't you see?"

It was useless to try to make peace with the man. It was too late for that.

Haru turned his ice-like gaze towards his daughter and spat out, "Oh, really now? He already took you from me all this time. You're just going to leave me all alone, just like your mother did years ago."

And again, Reiko was brought back into the story. Why couldn't she just live with her love and be happy? What had she done wrong?

"Father, this is _my_ life we are talking about. I should be free to do as I like. Mother has nothing to do with this decision."

Ryuga decided it was time to talk too, "Why not letting her chose for herself? You're getting too old for this, Old Buck! If you're lucky maybe you'd get to see some grandchildren soon." This was not the plan, but screw it! They had to do something _now_ and think _later_.

Mr. Hasama gasped and barked out, "What!"

"You heard right," Hikaru was standing up to him now. "We're engaged and ready to get married."

"No, you're not! I will never permit this to happen. You're just going to destroy your life. Is this what I raised you for, Hikaru? To defy me!" At this point, her father's eyes twitched, his whole frame shaking with anger and restlessness.

"Never. It won't happen!" Haru screamed, already seeing red in his vision. All courage the woman had seconds ago was flushed by her father's harsh tone. She whimpered at their loss and slumped her shoulders.

It was clear the golden eyed man would've wanted to say more, but the pleading look Hikaru gave him made Ryuga bottle the anger back down. He swallowed and let out a defeated sigh. "Fine, Hasama, you won. I will leave once and for all."

Though it broke her heart to see this happen, Hikaru knew it was for the best. She knew they wouldn't last no matter how hard they tried if her father wasn't okay with it. Even though the blue head knew the golden eyed male did truly love her, she wouldn't allow him to get hurt because of those feelings.

Just when Ryuga turned his back to leave, Mr. Hasama got up and pulled a handgun from the back of his pants.

"I always knew you were a damned coward. I hope you burn in hell!" He pointed it squarely at The Dragon Emperor.

The next few moments will always keep playing in the girl's mind. She jumped up screaming, Ryuga turned to see what the problem was, and her father fired one shot. Hikaru remembered screaming so loud it felt like her throat was being eaten away.

He fell to the floor, blood seeking out from his upper back, and she watched helplessly as he coughed, small traces of red colored liquid seeping from his mouth with each breath he took.

The violet eyed young woman rushed to his side, tears burning trails down her face. The pain she had felt in her heart was unbearable, and yet, when she heard him try to speak, the pain doubled.

"Please," Hikaru sobbed, "please don't go yet, Ryuga. There is so much to do. I can't live without you!" She quickly pulled his head into her lap and stroked his white-and-red hair in hopes of calming down her own frazzled nerves.

The pained male let out a chuckle, glazed yellow orbs staring at her, "Calm down. It's not like a simple bullet is enough to kill me. I am The Dragon Emperor after all." Strong and brave words from a strong and brave person. Even so, Hikaru knew it wasn't true – _it couldn't be true_.

She closed her fearful eyes in agony and hiccupped as more fresh tears wetened her skin. She felt his calloused fingers glide up her cheeks, in effort to dry her tears, then caressing the flesh downwards, trailing over the side of her neck and collar bones, only to rest for a few moments and then drop back at his side.

It was over. There was no need for Hikaru's eyes to open just to know that.

_He was dead_.

The blue haired woman could feel the years of fury built up finally become unbottled.

She gently placed Ryuga's head on the ground and looked up at her frenzied, maniacal father. He looked pleased by his actions.

_How could he?_ This was the only thing that went through her mind at the moment. _Who gave him permission to? Who let him?_

_She_ let him, and _she_ was to punish him for it.

Screaming, the female jumped from her position on the floor and dug her long nails into his arms. The man shouted back at Hikaru, but she couldn't comprehend what he was saying. The only sound that she could hear was the intense beating of her own heart, adrenaline flowing through her veins.

Wrestling with him, the bluenette reached for the gun and, when she couldn't grab it firmly, bit into his arm. With a pained sound, the gray haired man pushed his only child at arm length and called her an insolent girl – an insult which was followed by him backhanding her.

Hikaru's hands and legs were shaking as she took in what years of paranoia and corruption had done to her only alive parent: a demon — a wildly lost soul. Now she knew she had to take the gun from him whatever happened. With that thought in her head, she dived back in to attack again.

In their fight, someone (she still couldn't say if they were her or his fingers) pulled on the trigger and the arm fired. From its close proximity, Hikaru felt her ears go deaf by the bang (even if it was slightly muffled by the body in front of her). Her father hissed and lost some of his weight against the violet eyed woman. Hikaru yelped and pushed at the man's sagging shoulders, only to come face to face with her father's wide, green eyes – or what used to be emerald-like eyes, now with a glassy color in them.

In moments, he crumbled into a heap on the floor while his daughter watched the scene wide-eyed.

* * *

_there's a drumming noise inside my head  
and it starts when you're around_

* * *

She viewed the carnage that had taken place.

To only think that not long ago Hikaru met her one true love and thought they would be together for eternity. Now, the man she loved with all her might was dead at the hands of her father and, in turn, she had killed Mr. Hasama herself. The woman was no better than her father was.

As Hikaru stared into space, she could hear a few of the maids yelling for one another from outside the locked room. They were about to come inside, even break the door down if they had to. What a sight was awaiting them. It was to give them nightmares for ages.

Then Hikaru realised that the handgun was still in her shaking hands. What would someone think if they came to see her with the crime's arm? Nothing good, that's it.

She run thru her mind all the possibilities, any and every single thing that could be said in her defense, but nothing seemed right. The gun had both father and daugther's fingerprints. His were explained by the weapons license he detained (and the fact that the handgun was his). Hers, well, that's another story.

Could she say that he went suicidal over the thought of losing his daughter? No, nobody committed suicide by striking themselves in the abdomen. She could say that it was an accident, that she didn't mean to kill him, but who was she kidding. Hikaru wanted the man dead as soon as Ryuga's body (it didn't matter if it was lifeless or not) hit the red carpeted floor below.

No, she killed him and that was final.

As if the whole incident wasn't traumatizing enough, beside the fact that the woman was to be accused of murdering her father, the bluenette could be admitted to the mental (she had lost sanity when she lost Ryuga; she'd gone crazy). Either way she'd had to live in misery (not that her life wasn't horrible enough emotionally, now it was to be physically too).

She could and would not live a life without the only person that was bringing her happiness. Where was her happiness now? Where? _Where?_ Where?

There was only one thing that was making any sense to the delusion-filled female: she was alone, all alone now, and she needed Ryuga back in her arms again. Hikaru was sure that The Dragon Emperor was waiting for her. He was watching and seeing as she did the unforgivable, as her father's blood mixed with her tears and sweat.

She took a last glance at her dearest's still form. After, her eyes closed. She had made up her mind.

For her the sin had been done already, that she didn't desrve life anymore, that she could take her last breath away. Maybe she was right. But only if the woman knew that the sin she was about to commit was worse than anything. Would she have stopped?

If she knew that her heart was beating faster, not from the events that took place seconds ago, but from producing more blood than usual, only for it to flow all the way to her belly, would she have thought it over? If Hikaru knew there was a small, tiny, rudimentary little heartbeat slowly pumping microscopic amounts of blood within her and the miniscule little life that produced it was completely and complexly interlinked with her body, would she have stilled her actions and hope for the better? The product of she and her beloved one's love could have been the only thing left as a reminder – _a remembrance_. Could she stop now and make everything possible for the tiny life within her?

If only Hikaru knew.

But she didn't and never was to.

Her chest was cold, deadened and her soul unfeeling.

Cocking the gun one last time, she pointed it at her head and felt the cool sensation of metal right against her temple. Hikaru let out one staggering breath. "Life is so unfair."

She pulled back on the trigger.

It was so unfair – the fate they all shared. It was as if all life was a game; one where you couldn't 'reset' or 'restart' or anything. One where a single wrong move could kill.

Yes, it was really iniquitous, for them and any other that came to the realisation too late.

_The game was rigged from the start_.

* * *

_I swear that you must hear it  
it makes such an almighty sound_

* * *

**A/N: **Thoughts? Should I go back to writing happy stories…or remain on this exciting terrain a bit longer? xD

And Wave, you were so right when you said video games are inspiration source. Just today I was playing Diablo III, which by the way I don't have ownership over (just the bought PC version ^^), and heard one of the best lines about love and tragedy ever, and I think it relates to this story really well: "Love is the surest road to a tragic end. That is why I have forsworn it." - Kormac the Templar. The funny part is that in the second act, the guy gets lovesick and the girl doesn't even acknowledge his presence! Poor Templar :3

Thank you for taking the time to read this monster of a story,

**BlackCatNeko999**


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